The Start;

So, today was the first day i'v woken up feeling completely numb.
After you kicking me in the face and side of my chest yesterday i thought i would be in pain, but no. My head was pounding. I knew it was, i could feel it yet.. I was numb.
I sat up and just thought about everything that has happened to my life in the last 10 months. Tears swelling up in my eyes, that big lump you get in your throat when you are trying so hard to not burst. My chest getting tighter as my asthma was beginning to show. I knew it was going to happen.
I burst into tears.
I couldn't stop! No matter what i did, i could not stop! I couldn't get a hold of myself, i couldn't calm myself down. All i could do was lay back down with my head on the cold pillow and just.. cry. Trying so hard not to wake my family up i ran to the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror and became so infuriated with myself.

How could i let this become who i am. Once a bright, outgoing girl who couldn't stop smiling is now such a sad, very sad girl who can do nothing but cry. What do i do? Fake a smile everyday and pretend i am okay? No, that is too easy. I must think of something that will challenge me and actually end up in me being happy.